When It Leaks: Recognizing the Signs of Unhealed Trauma

Unhealed trauma doesn’t always scream.Sometimes, it leaks.

It slips through the cracks in our conversations.It hides in the overreactions we can’t explain.It shows up in silence, in isolation, in that deep, lingering discomfort we feel when things are “too peaceful.”

Most of the time, we don’t even realize it’s happening—until it’s already made a mess.

Leaking Looks Like…

• Snapping at your kids over something small—then sitting in a puddle of guilt

• Shutting down emotionally when someone gets too close

• Over-functioning to stay in control

• Under-functioning to avoid failure

• Feeling triggered by situations that don’t seem “big enough” to warrant the reaction

• Constantly scanning for threats, even in safe spaces

• Rejecting people before they can reject you

Trauma Isn't Always a Loud Bang—Sometimes It's a Drip

Unhealed trauma often moves quietly.It disguises itself as “just who I am.”It tells us things like:

• “I’m just a naturally anxious person.”

• “I’ve always had a temper.”

• “I’m better off alone.”

• “I just don’t trust people.”

But these aren’t personality traits.They’re protection mechanisms.And while they may have kept us alive once—they’re now keeping us from truly living.

Pause. Notice. Ask.

If you’re wondering whether unhealed trauma is still leaking into your life, ask:

• Do my reactions match the reality of the moment?

• Am I responding from truth, or from a wound?

• Is my “normal” actually survival mode?

• Have I given myself permission to heal—or just learned how to cope?

I Didn’t Know I Was Still Bleeding

For years, I thought I was healed.I was helping others, teaching classes, quoting Scripture, and showing up strong.

But behind closed doors, I was anxious, reactive, overcommitted, and spiritually exhausted.I didn’t realize I was still bleeding internally—because I had gotten so good at covering it up externally.

When I finally slowed down long enough to notice the leak, Jesus didn’t meet me with shame.He met me with truth.

Healing Begins With Recognition

You can’t fix what you won’t face.But the beauty is: you don’t have to face it alone.Jesus doesn’t just point out the wound—He binds it up.

And as you begin to recognize where the leak is coming from, you get to ask the Holy Spirit to lead you into healing… not just coping.

Progress, Not Perfection

Today, I would still say I have moments when I feel overwhelmed—when I’m more reactive than I want to be. But the difference now?

I recognize it immediately.I pause. I breathe. I take steps to care for myself before it spirals.

Life isn’t perfect. It never will be.There will always be moments that stretch us too far, days that feel out of control, or seasons that shake what we thought we’d already healed.

But now, I know how to respond with grace.Not just toward others—but toward myself.

And that… is healing.

Want to go deeper?

In Refiner’s Reach, I walked through the fire.In The Exploited, I broke the cycle.