The Hole

The Hole in My Heart

I was told since breath began

That Jesus fills the hole inside—

That yearning carved in every soul,

A hunger nothing else could hide.

But life is sharp,

And wounds run deep.

The first tear came with shame—

Knowing I could never measure up

To the chains of an impossible faith.

The God they said would fill my heart

Seemed only to remind me

Of my insufficiency.

Then came the years—Loss, betrayal, abandonment, grief—And the hole tore wider,

An aching chasm in my chest.

I grew tired of waiting for Jesus to fill it,

So I took control.

I stuffed it full of everything else—Relationships, money, power,Status, ego—

And for a moment, the pain subsided.

But the world’s salves are thin bandages.

When they fail you,

The hole becomes a crater.

When what you choose to fill itLeaves you more wounded than before,

You are left with nothing

But the echo of your own emptiness.

I grasped for more—But everything I shoved inside Fell through

Into the abyss of grief and pain.

“Jesus, why won’t You fill me?”

Then—A warmth like a gentle fire,

A hug from the inside out,

And I knew…He had been there all along.

I had never made room for Him.I had filled every corner

With the things I thought would save me.

The tears began to mend

As I learned to wait.I had to feel the weight of the pain,

The sting of sin—Both my own

And the wounds others had left behind.

But this time,The cross I bore

Was carried on His back.

The things I had done,

The things done to me,

Were laid in His hands—

And the hole that once was hollow

Was filled with fire.

Not a fire that burned to destroy,

But a fire that burned to heal.

The heart that once felt like betrayal

Now beats renewed—Sealed with a love

That will never leave,

Never fail,

Never let go.